I’ve been incognito this winter, especially when it comes to posting on this blog. I lost whatever motivation I had to blog sometime in December when I just felt that nothing I had to blog about was really that important. Besides, who would miss me? I’m just another dot floating around in cyber space, right? This blog was an afterthought, one of those, “It’s good to have a blog to drive people to your other sites so you can make money.” Well, let me be honest and admit that my blog is not necessarily a money maker. But that’s obvious.
I see posted everywhere on the interweb people who boast that they love what they do and it’s not about the money. I love making jewelry, but what’s the point of making stuff if it just sits there collecting dust? I want people to love my stuff, too. Besides, I have a huge phobia of hording. Collecting stuff that you find useful and eventually use is one thing. Collecting stuff because you couldn’t pass it up but you don’t have a clue of what to do with it, so you just leave it somewhere and then eventually have to buy storage sheds to keep all the useless stuff; very frightening.
I also hit a creative brick wall. It happened when I was happily hammering some wire for a few bangles. I think I hammered for a total of ten minutes, cumulatively, when the downstairs neighbor came a knockin’ and I opened the door to find a guy shaking like he was just about to be confronted by a prison gang. This is an awful way to explain it, but it’s true. He couldn’t quite get out why he knocked on my door, so I brought it out for him, kindly. I apologized for the noise, assured him that I was wrapping things up, and told him I would try to control the noise in the future. The problem was, I thought I was controlling the noise, as I had chosen a good spot on a surface that would muffle the sound. Apparently not. I also always make it a point not to hammer after 6 p.m. I’m hammering wire, though, so it’s more like I’m tinkering. I guess it can be loud.
How did this become a big deal? Because in September of 2012 my boyfriend and I had just rid of the previous downstairs neighbor (apartments suck and I hate them like I hate people who don’t pick up after their stinky animals). She was a country loving, drama magnet, crack headed drunk who would fight with her boyfriend until 3:00 in the morning, talk on her cell phone outside so loud that other neighbors heard her (for five hours straight), smoke like a freight train, and there was so much more, but this isn’t the place for such garbage. The fact that I could here her lounge chair squeak outside every time she sat in it would just make me want to rip my hair out and gnaw my arm off. So, I know what it’s like to have a horrible, loud neighbor, and I vowed never to be that person. I was a little disheartened to have a frightened man knock on my door and tell me that I was causing a disturbance. I had become a nuisance.
But, I’m human and I also can’t afford $1000-$2000 a month for a space just so I can tinker some wire. (That just doesn’t sound right.) So I spent some time trying to reconcile with the fact that metal work will have to take a back seat. I’ve been hammering a little here and there. My boyfriend encouraged me that I wasn’t being that loud and he reminded me that when Squeaky Chair was causing a raucous and we had to get the cops and apartment management involved, and they told us the noise ordinance didn’t kick in until 10 pm, which meant she had until 10 pm to talk about such hot topics as, “Baby, you just don’t look at me like you used to anymore.” So I technically have until 10 pm to tinker. I still cut out before 6 pm because that’s just the kind of gal I am. But I realized how badly I really want my own workspace, where the only person I can bother is myself and if I want to hammer until my ears bleed, well, that’s o.k. because it would be my ears bleeding. So, I’m feeling trapped by circumstance.
After I got over homey knocking on my door I started beading some really cool bracelets that will never sell on Etsy, and I’m dabbling in paper beads which I find to be soothing and motivating. I have some pictures below.
Thanks to those of you who stop to admire the stuff I hoard on this blog from time to time!